


Invisible string

by scydiastilinski



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, M/M, Sharing a Bed, cuddling!!!!!!!!, lots of memories in this, sarah and jjpope friendship, the heywards family feels, the pogues hanging out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:27:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26722156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scydiastilinski/pseuds/scydiastilinski
Summary: For lack of better words on what just occurred, they burst into a fit of laughter. How nice it’s to be able to laugh with Pope this close.
Relationships: JJ/Pope (Outer Banks)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62





	Invisible string

**_Time_ **

**_Wondrous time_ **

**_Gave me the blues and then purple pink skies_ **

**_And it's cool Baby with me_ **

Hiding is one of JJ’s specialties, whether it’s from abuse, truths, feelings or his friends in any game that requires it. However he knows the latter is the only thing he can take pride in and oh boy he does rub it in their faces all the time.

He needs it today. It's one of those days where they all anticipate, it shows when John B knocks on Pope’s bedroom window in the most obnoxious pattern at 7 in the morning, it shows when JJ is off the bed with the first tug, it shows when Pope throws an outfit at him so they’re out sooner, and it shows when they walk in the chateau to the smell of beacon and eggs and the laughter of Kiara and Sarah.

It’s 11 A.M. when they run outside for a ‘hunger games’ inspired game, one that John B and JJ created the first time they got high and thankfully Pope was there to ground them and take a mental note of everything they do.

They take these items along:

  * A rusty bucket primed with water balloons.
  * 2 Slingshots.
  * 3 Bags in different sizes.
  * 4 Water guns.



Lay it all on and around a tree stump, before they evenly spread in a wide circle around it.

Loud and clear, John B recites their made up rules:

  * The chateau is off limits.
  * There’s two minutes spared for them to hide before the hunting begins. The rule was made after the first time they played it where it was just JJ, Pope and John B. JJ took all of them down in less than a minute, sucking all the fun.
  * Announce who’s out by kicking the person off the group chat.
  * “No teaming up!!” John B warns, eyeing JJ and Pope, then goes on to inform Sarah how the two always link up and when it’s just them at last, they make a scene where one of them has to make a sacrifice, it ceases with them tackling each other on the grass and laughing before one betrays the other.
  * “No promises,” JJ replies and at the same time Pope shrugs and says, “it just happens.” John B shakes his head, Kiara rolls her eyes, Sarah smirks and JJ winks in Pope’s way, prompting the other to grin. _They are totally gonna team up._



At the count of three the havoc starts. All speeding to the focal point, picking up water guns, filling bags with water balloons, Etc.

Kiara groans Pope’s name, and JJ is snickering, so proud of Pope for beating her to the last water gun, he wants to fist pump him but also needs to fill the backpack he got hold of with water balloons so he can reach the part where they're gonna team up, he already lost a slingshot to John B.

It doesn’t take JJ long enough to locate a safe spot where he can climb high up on a tree and sit there camouflaged by its leaves with a full view of his orbit. Pope is there in the center of it, sprinting with frequent glances thrown over his shoulder and a tight grip on his water gun and the balloon in his other hand.

“It's gonna pop, man,” he giggles loud enough to catch his attention, it works but not the way JJ wants, Pope looks up then trips on his feet and JJ hears a crack and hopes it’s a branch. It doesn’t entirely register to him how fast he can climb off a tree until he’s kneeling by Pope’s side with an arm around his back while the other across his middle to grip on his hand and haul him on his feet, “is it bad as it sounded?”

“No, just my ankle hurts a bit.”

“I got you.”

“My Katniss,” Pope utters under his breath. JJ doesn’t get the chance to dwell on the comparison, as a scream close by startles them. As gentle as JJ can he drags Pope behind bushes next to the tree he was on and pushes him to the ground with a “sorry.” 

JJ heartbeats quicken, hearing Kiara’s low callings. He puts a finger on his lips to warn Pope to stay hush. “ _It’s just a ga-_ ” He clamps his hand over Pope’s mouth, Pope raises his eyebrows and there is some kind of intensity that twinkles in his eyes that JJ is unsure if he can face right now, therefore he directs his gaze towards his gun on the dirt a few feet away from them. 

Countless hot breaths against his palm later, the footsteps fade. JJ raises his upper half using his free arm to scan their surroundings and check if they are in the clear which they are and at that he untenses, lowers himself back and lets out a relieved breath along with a chuckle, “That was close.” He then lifts his hand off Pope’s mouth and glances back at him.

If the previous look on Pope’s face was something JJ wasn’t ready to encounter then he for sure has to flee the scene now, considering that Pope has one that could get JJ’s hopes up and he hates having high hopes, even if logic backs it all up. JJ hates logic almost as much.

The smile on JJ’s face takes no time to twist onto an expression he thinks has to be familiar to the other by now, it seems to arrive every time they’re in a close proximity same as the one they are in now. Their faces are so near, noses would be bumping if one of them intended to be reckless and lean just a bit. He can feel Pope’s sweaty fingers wrapped around his bicep and if JJ was in his right state of mind he wouldn’t be thinking about the way Pope’s other hand is clutching the fabric above his heart, some kind of symbolism to JJ’s heart being in the palm of Pope’s hand, to mend, to break or let it be. JJ decided long ago that he wanted it to be there, willingly took Pope’s hand, laid his heart there then secured the other’s fingers around it and prayed he would keep it for forever and maybe in that forever Pope would give him his heart too.

JJ is also very aware of the fact he’s completely straddling Pope and his elbows are bracketing his head and the world with its colors and sounds is slowly fading mute for him, can’t focus on anything other than every contact he has with the boy underneath him. His eyes dart between the other’s lips and eyes, JJ swears he sees Pope’s lips curving upwards, it emits the same reaction from him.

He could kiss him, could simply duck down and let their smiles know how they feel against each other and thank him for putting it there in the first place, but he doesn’t and he’ll probably kick himself over it later, what he does instead is pat Pope’s cheek and whisper, “We’re safe.”

It’s akin, a touch that is in the safe zone as far as how their friendship flows. It’s also a call back to a summer ago, a silly moment in the dark where they held onto each other and mocked their friend. Everything has changed from then, they don’t have the gold, but John B isn’t running from no one, Sarah is a close friend, Kie is less annoyed with the world, Pope is on his way to get another scholarship, and JJ never felt this safe before.

He then gives Pope his personal space back, unraveling their limbs. His hands spend much more time than they are supposed to let go, the one on his cheek slides south till it’s on his covered shoulder before JJ finally pulls it back to his own coldness and sits on one knee while he tucks the other under his chin. He watches Pope pull himself up in a sitting position and absentmindedly, JJ’s hand reaches for Pope again, to the leftover shred of pink rubber on his shirt, taking it off.

There’s peculiar awkwardness upon them, maybe it’s the outcome of it being the first time they share a moment like this without it being interrupted by someone or something. JJ targets the ‘look anywhere but him’ option then remembers why they’re here in the first place, “Hey, lemme check on your leg, do you think it broke or something?”

It ends the strange and gets him a smile from Pope, “Naah, Probably not. It doesn’t hurt to that extent.”

“Okay,” he hesitates, then points a finger at him, “but if I learned one thing from the various times you patched me up is that we need to put ice on it, so...” He gestures towards the Chateau direction.

In a matter of seconds fondness crosses Pope’s features then disbelief coats it and JJ doesn’t understand why the second is ruining it. He can’t help it but assume that Pope thinks he’s stupid and can’t take good care of him, he cares so much about the way he sees him, so he gets defensive, “Hey, I’m not stupid.”

“I know that JJ,” Pope says, offended at the assumption. It stops JJ from shutting down, especially when Pope smiles and teases, “but I didn’t know you’re a quitter.” 

“ _Oh shut up_ , I’m just putting you first,” JJ scoffs, attempting to come off nonchalant, but so much unneeded but meant sincerity sneaks into his tone. He counts on his cheeks to not appear as warm as they feel as his eyes fall down on Pope’s leg and he starts to twist grass between his fingers.

Pope tapping his knee steers his eyes up on him again and he sees the other’s beautiful smile and he’s mesmerized. 

“You know, I’m pretty sure, we can pull a semi powerful move out of our asses as we dip.”

JJ leans in, a mischievous smile awaiting for Pope’s compromise, something JJ discovered that Pope does a lot, it’s on top of the list of things Pope taught him. Sometimes it’s afternoons and evenings when they have a lot to study, Pope would pack a picnic and seize him along with their notes and textbooks to the beach. Sometimes it’s like the nights when Pope isn’t enjoying whatever party they are at, JJ would grab his wrist and lead him somewhere more calm, sometimes calm is created by them like locating a spot to occupy where they blur out everyone and their noise. Sometimes they ditch the party to head to the beach where JJ would drag Pope to the water, delay going home till they’re fully dry so Pope’s mom wont fuss. Together, they make the best of every circumstance. Patiently, they watched study picnics by the beach progress into just picnics by the beach, and sensed random parties warm up to a familiar sense.

Pope unfolds his plan, that he would get on his back, take charge of the shooting if someone locates them, while all JJ has to do is take them inside. It’s a good idea, one that gets JJ eager, especially because it’s Pope suggesting it. But here is the thing, JJ is attracted to Pope and he already predicts the feelings that are gonna creep in with having Pope in a vicinity like that, _however_ he also knows the beam that's gonna show up on Pope's face when he agrees to it, so anything but yes is out of the question. “That’s actually a great plan. Let's do it!” JJ pats Pope’s knee gently, before he puts his right arm around his waist, hoisting him up. 

“Wait, take it off.” Pope stops him, pinching his shirt.

“My shirt?” 

“Why would I ask you to take off your shirt right now?” 

JJ can’t help the way his heart reacts to the ‘right now.’ 

“Your backpack, slide it to the front, it would be easier for me to grab the balloons like that.”

“Look at you and your ideas that are gonna maim our friends,” JJ praises and does exactly what Pope asked. 

When they’re on their feet, JJ bends enough for Pope to be able to get on his back. Flush crawls from his neck to blotch his cheeks as Pope’s arms know their way around his neck. He hooks his own under the other’s thighs to hold him in place. “The guns.” Pope reminds, breath fanning the hairs on the nape of his neck and JJ is flustered as he frees one hand to reach for the guns, then hands them to Pope before he straightens up with Pope on his back. JJ is now thankful that he ended up with the smallest gun, if not, Pope’s arms wouldn’t be able to stay around his neck. Pope’s one is bigger, but JJ can handle it jabbing his chest, it’s worth it.

It’s anticlimactic. The path to the Chateau is clear, nonetheless JJ stays giddy all the way, the effect of Pope’s lips curling into a smile against his bare shoulder, Pope’s sorries every time the gun collides with his chin on accident, and Pope’s reply when he asks him if he’s comfortable, _“I’m pretty comfortable.”_

JJ leads them first to the kitchen. They’re laughing and JJ is staggering as Pope opens the freezer to get frozen peas for a makeshift ice pack, before maneuvering them to the spare room, the one JJ’s heart declared no longer a haven the second night after John B and Sarah came back. The first night, they all stayed together and slept scattered all over the living room, all of them woke up with cramped necks and sore limbs, but it’s all smiles and laughter as they lazily moved around each other. 

It was that night, that day when he felt pressured by his own mind to stay at John B’s and it didn’t help that John B made an off handed comment about it, like he expected him to drop everything and go back to the life they used to know.

The Heywards wanted him to stay in the safety of their home, but JJ translated it for politeness and didn’t allow himself to think otherwise (even though he knew that he’s now family to them.) the same way he didn’t allow himself to think about the frown that occupied Pope’s face the whole time and the way Pope hugged him before he left the chateau. In the middle of the night, he found himself calling him, whispering, “I hate it here,” without any introduction. “Then come home,” Pope sincerely told him, “Put yourself first and come home.” That's all it took, JJ left a note for John B, and pulled a sweater over his head (Pope’s scent marking him as his in a way he hoped words would one day.) As he stepped outside on the dewy grass, he heard his name being called. He turned around to find John B shifting on the hammock to sit then tread towards him. JJ felt his stomach twist, not helping the way he was already choked up from feeling out of place. He watched John B’s gaze fall on his sweater and words weren’t needed from JJ for John B to solve the puzzle.

“A lot can happen in a year,” John B smiled, a sad one over the things he missed to see. “It’s okay. I get it. It makes sense.”

It’s true, a lot can happen in a year. For one, John B was saying all the right things, even if they included that JJ is in love with one of their best friends. He couldn’t bother to deny it anymore if someone asked or assumed.

“I’m not abandoning you,” the voice of his 8 year old self broke on the promise he made, the one where he would follow him to the end of the earth.

“I know.” John B patted his cheek and if he noticed JJ’s eyes welling up, he didn’t say anything, he just whipped a tear off with his thumb, so subtly to not make JJ feel small. “Now go to him. I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

Pope’s window was open and calling for him and when he was inside, he noticed the space Pope left for him on bed, the side that’s for JJ to keep warm and the dent for JJ to fill.

The memory doses him with affection, wishing he can wrap the other in a blanket and litter him with kisses, pay back the love and safety Pope made him feel that night and always. He holds it back and helps Pope to settle in bed and places one pillow underneath his foot. He slips the backpack off his arms and leaves it in the middle of the room.

“What are you smiling about?” Pope tilts his head to chase his gaze, JJ lets him have it for a second, before he sets on bed to untie Pope’s converse.

“Just remembered something.”

“Which is?” Pope presses and reaches his hand to assist, but JJ swats it away.

“The last time I’ve stayed in here,” He replies, taking the shoes off and arranging them neatly on the floor, buying himself time to prepare for the gentleness in the other’s eyes. 

“Is it worthy of a smile? You were crying.”

“But I wasn’t later, was I?”

Flashback to JJ curling into Pope’s curves with the tightest desperate touch he had on anyone. Flashback to tears tapering off, cheeks drying off and aching because Pope got him to smile and laugh all while he was still between his arms. Flashback to the whispers of sweet dreams and a kiss on the forehead that pinned peace into JJ’s troubling mind.

“Oh.”

JJ offers Pope a look that’s for him only to observe, a genuine smile that comes off shy and eyes that bare his soul. Whatever Pope asks in the moment would get him the guileless truth. JJ would tell him he loves him if he just asked. He lived with it for so long, watched the initial fear of it turn from ‘I’m scared that I feel this strongly for you.’ To ‘I’m scared how ready I’m to say it to you.’ 

He thinks letting Pope know that he could lighten up an ordeal is a form of love confession without him having to say the three words blatantly. Mind you, these words aren’t foreign in JJ’s vocabulary, he says them to John B with each goodbye, to Kiara’s eye rolls, even to Pope’s parents sometimes.

The first time he ever said them to Mrs. Heyward was the morning where she was fretting over him zoning out and it didn’t help that his cheeks were red and hot underneath her loving palms. He really found it awkward to tell her it’s all because he accidentally just walked on her son in the bathroom and almost saw everything. They settled into an agreement that if he appeared the same after school, she’s taking him to the clinic. She still made him fresh lemon juice. By the front door, he peered at Pope giving his mom a quick hug, a kiss on the forehead and the daily I love you. Something in him yearned to do the same, maybe it’s because he can’t recall anyone like a parent figure caring this much about him, maybe it’s because she didn’t have to make him feel at home the day he walked in or maybe it’s because she taught him that Pope gets his patient from her, so yeah he went for it and tried to seem natural like he was doing it too for many years, but it fell flat because she wrapped her arms around him to keep him in place, and then it just happened, he melted and the three words rolled off his tongue, happy that they found a new person to be spoken to.

To Heyward, what a soft end to a horrible day. Pope and him were lending a hand at the shop and at some point Heyward approached, JJ’s first thought was that they were gonna get yelled at for missing around. Unexpectedly, he let them off for the day, even though the shop was primed with customers. On their way out, JJ understood why he also insisted they take the car. JJ wouldn’t be able to have a steady grip on the bike’s handle at the glimpse of his father right there, the sight simply scratched open every wound his father engraved. His fearful eyes flashed to Heyward’s and they were already on him, “Go home son.”

When Pope caught up, he wrapped a firm protective arm around his waist and guided him away from a nightmare, it kept him anchored. Pope sat behind the wheel and JJ spent the whole ride silent with a bouncy leg and nails between teeth. Relief came when Heyward walked in the living room a few hours later with no visible bruises, but JJ knew better to not fully be at ease, his dad was smart to know where to mark, like nights before school where the kicks and punches were lowered to his stomach, saving the nonchalance to summers and holidays. JJ waited till Pope’s mom left to sleep to bring it up, she didn’t know about today and didn’t need to. Pope bid goodnight after five minutes, ran his fingers through JJ’s hair as he passed him with a “don’t be late.” JJ already knew that he would be waiting for him, and it's gonna be one of those nights where touches won't be pondered.

It didn’t take much for JJ to open his bag of questions, “did he do any-” but Heyward closed it, dissipating his fears as swiftly as he could, “He didn’t and won’t. He won’t touch you ever again.” 

Somewhere between JJ’s throaty, “I don’t want him to hurt you and your family,” and the sheen in Heyward’s eyes, he was gathered in the arms of the older man, JJ relished the safety it brought and listened to every softly spoken word, his mind latched on the I love you, and made sure it was said back as tears wet his cheeks and Heywards’ shirt.

As he predicted, Pope was awake, spinning in his chair to face him as he entered their room. JJ just went for what his heart desired, he sank on his knees in front of the other and laid his head on his lap, Pope fingers found his hair for the second time that night. He remembers the muffled "I love you" against Pope’s thigh, remembers Pope’s "I love you too." leaving his lips so quick in a bittersweet way, the bitterness arrives at the thought, _‘if he’s in love with me, it wouldn’t be easy for him to say it.’_ the sweetness was from the treacherous hope that whispers, _‘but look at you. You hold him, say it and mean it. Why wouldn’t he be doing the same?’_

The casualty of his usage of these three words lead him to say them to Pope with touches and gestures that hints at the special place Pope has in his heart to show him it never held or ever will hold the same meaning when it’s other people at the receiving end.

Pope's sincere voice breaks into his thoughts, “I’m glad you came back.”

“Me too,” he grins and takes the frozen peas that Pope passes him and presses it on the spot he points at.

Pope grimaces.

Assuring, “it’s just cold,” after noticing the concerned look etching JJ’s features.

“Do you think I made it worse by pushing you into the ground?”

“No, but I might need a back massage,” Pope grins.

‘Are you asking me for one?”

“I think I deserve one without even requesting.”

“You hate my massages.”

“How can I hate them when you’ve never given me one.”

JJ opens his mouth but Pope is ahead of him, “And no squeezing my shoulders when I’m studying isn’t really a massage.”

“Okay, Okay. I’ll give you what you think is a proper massage.”

“This sounds more like a threat.”

“I guess you’ll never know.”

“I think I’d, when you break my spine.”

JJ laughs, “as if I ever would hurt you.”

Pope is smiling but there’s something missing in it. It tugs on JJ’s heart strings and it feels like his body brutally just absorbed the temperature of what’s in his clutch, taking the healing element of it.

JJ now is reminded of how wrong his statement is and is loathing his own guts for it. He hurt Pope before. He knows it. He forgets about it sometimes because he apologized for it and Pope never held grudges against him. He thinks there’s hurt that Pope never addressed. JJ wants to tell him, ‘give me the day and time’, so he fixes it, he learned leaving hurt unresolved never does a good thing. Look at his parents, then look at Pope’s.

His first apology to Pope was when he was 14 and the other was 15, up in a room that he never thought he would call his too one day. They were sitting by each other on the floor working on homework. After Pope left for the bathroom, JJ accidentally knocked his drink on Pope’s essay, the one that took two days to research and put together. He went to pick it up, but all the action did was tear it apart. For the first time, he was scared to face Pope. “Mom wants you to stay for dinner,” Pope informed as he stepped back into the room. JJ grimaced, “I don’t think you would want me after you see this.” Pope frowned, sighed his name at the sight of his hard work, “JJ.” He apologized frantically and Pope just shook his head, “it’s not the end of the world. Let's just clean this.” JJ didn’t get it at all, if he put so much time and effort into something for it to be ruined in a blink of an eye, he’d be livid and show it. Pope just got his phone out and took photos of the 7 pages as best as the state they were in allowed. JJ stayed for dinner and much longer than that. They took turns to rewrite the essay on the computer, when Pope was typing JJ was reading the essay from the phone to fasten the process, when JJ was typing Pope was the one reading. They ended up falling asleep on the desk and his neck and hands were sore in the morning, but it was worth it because Pope’s essay was done.

The second slipped within the night that got JJ to realize how touch starved he actually was. With a sad smile Kiara had left them in the hot tub to fetch dry clothes from John B’s closet. Pope remained with an arm around his shoulder, keeping him tucked into him. JJ recalls how on edge Pope was, on the lookout and ready to fight harm with bare hands if it dared to come, JJ wanted to tease, _‘you were on the math team.'_ let the moment fall into the playfulness they know. He didn’t though. “I’m sorry for holding it against you. I took the fall because I care about you, not because I want to use it in fights,” JJ said in a whisper. Pope held him tighter, “I know. I swear I know. Don’t overthink it.” and ran his free hand over the side of JJ’s face, fingers on his temple asking his mind to rest.

The third was the night of their first day back to school, a nightmare startled him awake. He sighed in relief seeing Pope still in deep sleep, a sign that there was no thrashing or screaming this time. He needed fresh air, so he tiptoed to the window, grateful that they forgot to close it before going to sleep. He didn’t go far, too scared to be lost, something he never cared much about before. Sat down on a curb, hid his face in his hands and his shoulders shook as he grieved over the gone hope of his friends being alive. He wept and wept until it became too much. He picked up on footsteps that he knew too well, he got a fake smile ready before he lifted his head. Pope didn’t have it. “Never again, never do this again, don’t ever leave without telling me, just don’t ever leave,” he begged with each step. At an arm's length, Pope’s agony wasn’t just in his voice, it was evident in his tears. At an arm’s length, Pope crouched in front of him too fast, scraped his bare knees on the concrete but wasn’t bothered, just engulfed him in an embrace. JJ could feel Pope’s heart beating against his chest, it comforted as he buried his face in Pope’s neck and croaked a sorry. They remained like that, until JJ made an attempt to pull back, a watery chuckle out of his lips, “your knees probably hurt like hell.” Pope mumbled, “my least worry.” and his grip just a bit tighter. “Well, it’s mine. Come sit next to me.” Pope gave in, did as he was asked and wrapped an arm around JJ allowing him to nuzzle his face back into his neck. The streetlight cast a shadow upon the concrete, their shadows mixed into one. JJ bent and pressed a kiss on Pope’s knee, before he snuggled back into him. “It’s unhygienic,” Pope said, a laugh in his voice. “I’d do it again,” all JJ said. Pope took his hand in his, joked about JJ having a thing for his knee and made him forget for a bit that John B should have been at school with them.

The bag of peas is no longer cold, no longer making Pope’s ankle feel better, like it’s telling him that he can’t fix whatever he did.

He shoves the hunch away, ditches the peas and takes a seat by Pope, sides flushed together like how he prefers, but not deserves.

“Better?”

“Much. Thank you.” Pope tilts his head back on the wall and presents him a lazy smile, one that JJ recognizes and takes comfort in, it’s there when Pope is almost done with studying but JJ is trying to get him to rest because Pope’s almost could mean an hour. It’s there at night when they should be asleep, but they can’t stop talking. It’s there most mornings for JJ to be the first to witness. And now that it’s here, it makes him hum happily and form of habit, his hand finds a way to create extra physical contact between them, like he can’t get enough which is the truth. He claps the other’s thigh, one, two, after three he’s supposed to pull it back, but Pope's hand above his, surprising JJ, blue eyes cast down to the other’s lap. Lips jerk upwards at the contrast of how small his hand compared to the other, absentmindedly he voices it, longing tangible in his tone, “Yours is bigger.”

“You’re taller,” Pope says, playfully and fast, like it crossed his mind before.

JJ wants to laugh and say it’s just two inches of height difference, but Pope knows that, the same way he knows their hands are almost the same size. JJ finds himself clearing his throat, “You do this a lot, you know?”

Looking up, he sees Pope’s curious eyes pouring into his. “Compromise. Trying to make me feel better, even over little things that don’t bother me at all.” His eyes flicker to Pope’s lips, before they shy away and land on their hands, and the contrast is more obvious after he flips his hand, so their palms rub together. Pope weaves their fingers and in return JJ tightens his grip. They have always been good at teamwork.

“Maybe I just like making you feel better.”

“You do.” 

With rapid heartbeats he adds, “more than you think.” Then raises his gaze towards Pope’s once more, thawing from the love and softness that reflect in them. Pope’s index mapping his knuckles, the sign he needed to lean closer, baring all his intentions and lying down his cards on the table. Pope does his part, let their noses brush and JJ watches him leisurely shut his eyes. Butterflies erupt in his stomach at seeing the smile tug on Pope’s lips. When JJ is fulfilled with what he savored, he closes his eyes too and places his free hand on Pope’s warm cheek like the many times he did before, though this time his lips graze Pope’s slow and tentative, similar to the process of them making it to this moment.

Pope lips moving against his, sends a rush through him, better than the high that numbs the pain, better than salty water cleansing his wounds with a bit of sting but it’s alright because the ocean gave him something else, something permanent, happiness that lasts as long as he’s in it.

“JJ! POPE! I know you’re hiding in here!” John B shouts from the hallway, forces them to jerk away and JJ jumps to his feet as they do.

Not a second after, the door is being slammed open and John B is emptying his water gun on him and Pope. “I said the Chateau is off limits.” 

“He’s injured, you heathen.” JJ for dramatic effects, spreads his arms and strives and fails to block the water from soaking Pope.

When John B marks them as losers, he exits the room to search for the girls.

“I think we take this game too seriously,” Pope’s deadpans, twisting the front of his shirt in an attempt to dry it. JJ turns around and their eyes meet for the first time since they were rudely interrupted. He chuckles, wiping the water on his face with his hand, “Yeah, but where is the fun if we don’t.”

Pope rolls his eyes, smiling and JJ chews on his bottom lip scrutinizing the way he’s being stared at, wondering if he now should acknowledge the new progression of their relationship.

He smiles, noticing Pope’s eyes darting to his lips, before he’s on his feet, “It doesn’t hurt,” Pope notes to avoid JJ's growing concern.

“I carry it more for you than me,” Pope says in a sweet way, hand in his pocket, retrieving the familiar mint chapstick, the one he started to use after he formed a habit of biting his lips every time he’s stressed and since that emotion is a friend of his, his mom got him a clear chapstick that made the state of his lips much better, also it’s the same chapstick that JJ has been tasting since they were 14, the one that got JJ to start question why the fuck is he looking at Pope like that? Why the fuck does he want to see if his bottom lip would fit just right between Pope’s lips? Why the fuck is he lying in bed thinking about how he and Pope technically kissed? The last thought got him so bad to the extinct where he started to count all the indirect kisses, the times where they shared drinks and cutlery, the one time where they kissed the same spot on the dog they befriended near the wreck, the list goes on.

They have kissed now. Maybe it was light as a feather, but it’s way better than all the indirect ones. It got him answers, some he figured out a while back, like the fact all the looks were there because he was in the process of falling in love with Pope. The new answer got him thrilled, his bottom lip does fit more than just right, it fits like it was meant to meet the warmth of Pope’s mouth.

JJ rolls his lips inwards, resisting a grin as Pope shortens the distance between them, and when they’re face to face, Pope is holding his chin, applying the chapstick on his lips, like the many times he did before. “Not that I hate your chapped lips, it’s your thing. I just don’t want to taste blood if we kiss again.”

As he progresses what has just been said, JJ watches Pope wipe the little touch of chapstick underneath the outline of his bottom lip with his thumb.

“You want to kiss me?” He says it in a way that encapsulate the doubts that snuck in every encounter he had with Pope, the way his brain was wired to think there’s no way a boy like Pope with a golden for future would fall in love with a boy like him, so that’s why any moment was read differently, like Pope starting to initiate physical contact with JJ, like Pope staring at JJ in a way JJ always gazed at Pope, like Pope’s rare ‘I love yous’ slip with ease like he learned it from JJ, like the pride that glimmer in Pope’s eyes when JJ proves the others wrong but proves Pope right because Pope told him he can do it, told him he can pass a test, told him he can turn his life upside down to the better and fuck it JJ believes him and wants Pope to be there to see it.

Pope closes the cap off, his dark kind eyes searching for resolve in blue ones. “I’m in, if you’re.” And as if it’s not enough, like he wants them to cut the bullshit, he presses, “I want to kiss you, if you want to kiss me. I want to tell you things, if you tell me.”

That’s the part where Pope lets JJ know that he has given his heart to him, and JJ doesn’t know when it occurred and why, but he is aware that it’s a privilege and that he's gonna be tender with it.

“C’mere.” He cradles the right side of Pope’s face and releases his smile to press it on the other’s lips and Pope reacts immediately, his arms secure around JJ’s waist. This kiss picks up from where they were left off, but the need to be closer as much as close can go, compels JJ to cup the left side of Pope’s neck too, thumb caressing his jaw. Pope lifts one arm to the blond’s damp hair, gently fisting it tugging JJ near as if he wants them to be touching from head to toe. It’s uncontrollable, the gasp that escapes JJ’s lips, it drives him crazy and he wants Pope to keep tugging and tugging even if it’s the last thing his hairline would want, yet JJ doesn’t mind it at all, his red hat has been there for him since the age of 9 and for sure it can do plenty more also Pope caressed his face through bruises and blood and held him tight through nightmares and the aftermaths of triggers. So no hair is nothing compared to the cards they have been dealt with.

“I’m in, I’m all in,” JJ breathes between ardent kisses and in return Pope is breaking the kiss to gaze at him in a way that croons that he should have had his hopes up all along. There are many things that he wants to say to that look on Pope’s pretty face and the way his watery eyes are scanning all of his face, but can’t put together, although there is a confession that is on the tip of his tongue, it remains there for now, because Pope is kissing him again with his tongue imploring for the taste of the I love you.

JJ extracts the hand off Pope’s neck to wrap his arm around Pope’s shoulders and pulls him flush against his body. JJ feels dizzy, because it’s all too much right now. Pope's hands are burning on his cheeks, while Pope’s cheek is so warm beneath his palm.

He detaches their lips for a moment to share a breath with the other, their upper lips are still in contact and their foreheads too. For lack of better words on what just occurred, they burst into a fit of laughter. How nice it’s to be able to laugh with Pope this close.

It hinders when they hear a noise coming from the closet.

Unwillingly, JJ steps away to the source of the disturbance. When he opens the closet door, it reveals Sarah, hugging her water gun to her chest with an embarrassed grin plastered on her face.

“What the hell?” JJ croaks. 

“ _Please_ tell me somehow you weren’t here the whole time,” Pope groans.

“Congrats?” She does jazz hands and in the process her gun tumbles to the ground. When she notices that Pope looks horrified and JJ is frowning, she changes her approach, “Look, I’m sorry-”

Then the door is sprung open again and the three are met with Kiara’s smug face and soaked John B behind her.

“I knew you would be in here,” Kiara yells, running to throw her arms around Sarah, planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek. “You lost. I won!” She sings.

Kiara pulls back and Sarah is stiff, making it so obvious that something went down when they were gone and it’s so uncomfortable, worse than the time Kiara made John B choose between her and Sarah.

“Did you fight or something?” John B bluntly asks.

“No. Sarah was just convincing us to not snitch on her,” Pope lies. “She forgot that the chateau is off limits.”

“Sore loser.” JJ teases her.

“And what kind of loser are you?” Sarah turns to him.

“We’ll never know, I never lose.”

“You just did.” Kiara spits.

“Nope. Pope and I eliminated ourselves.”

“Like we believe you, you two are soaked.”

“Yes, because John B came in here to attack us,” Pope states, in a matter of fact tone.

“So you lost before I even found you?” Kiara corners John B. “That’s why you’re so quiet now huh?”

“No.” John B says, slowly. “I just knew that JJ and Pope would cheat so I-”

Kiara doesn’t let him finish, “so you and Sarah cheated and JJ and Pope just didn’t want to play anymore? Cool, you all suck.” She leaves the room with her middle fingers in the air.

“Girls,” JJ sighs, shaking his head.

All eyes are on him now and he’s aware of the why. John B knows he’s into Pope, Sarah saw or heard (Maybe both? He doesn’t really want to know to be honest) them making out, and Pope well, he’s the boy he’s in love with.

“What? I’m just glad I’m not dating one,” he shrugs.

It takes a quick glance to see that Sarah is holding her laughter, that John B is biting his tongue and Pope is doing this adorable thing where he scrunches his nose and smiles.

* * *

At 9 P.M. Sarah drives them back home along with Kiara who's in a mid heated rant about the environment, one that started when they all were huddled on the hammock, it was in regards to the comment John B made that he knew would irk her and it continued even when it was time to head back home. JJ tried to care and listen but he lost the track of it when they got in the car and Pope didn’t scoot all the way to the other side, he remained in the middle seat. JJ blushed and thought, _‘he likes me.’_ like Pope a few hours ago didn’t give him the best kiss he ever had in his entire life.

JJ throws his head on the headrest and tips it towards Pope who’s yawning, it wins him a sweet smile that stays on the other’s face even when he shuts his eyes to rest. JJ wonders what Pope’s mind is at, because clearly he’s not following Kiara’s rant either. Is he thinking about the kiss? Is he thinking about if they can call each other boyfriends now? Is he thinking about linking their fingers together? Because JJ is thinking about all of those and much more.

He wishes they got time to talk. After the game they all changed into the spare clothes they brought along, then lounged in the living room with two boxes of Pizza on the table and a movie from John B’s choice on Kiara’s laptop. Normally, if JJ thinks he wont like whatever is on, he would take it as an opportunity to nap, but under the thin blanket he was sharing with Pope, their hands gravitated towards each other and JJ didn’t want to sleep on it, so instead he laid his head on the other’s shoulder, their friends didn’t bat an eye at it, already seen them like this before. He stayed awake the whole time and every time he lost interest in the plot, he drew a different pattern on Pope’s palm. Mid film, he discovered that Pope is ticklish on the inside of his wrist, his fingertips were dancing in a straight line towards the other’s pulse point, it emitted a light chuckle from Pope along with a jerk of a hand. JJ peeked up at him from under his eyelashes, grinning, it broadened when Pope drew his hand towards his lap and began to do the same for him, obliging JJ to bite on the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t show that it really tickles.

His thoughts are interrupted when Sarah pulls the car into the Carrera’s driveway. Sarah’s dad was right there closing the driver seat of his car.

“I wanna say hi to him,” Sarah announces, hopping off the car before Kiara does.

Kiara is laughing as she tags along, “goodnight boys.”

They watch them walk towards Mike and Pope stifles a laugh when Sarah throws her arms around him like she does it all the time, she probably does, Kiara and her had a long history.

“You think your dad wouldn’t mind if I did that?” He jokes leaning closer to Pope.

Pope lets the laugh out, “you definitely should try it out.”

“The aftermath might not be pretty though and you might miss me in bed.”

His cheeks burn at the implication. The sharing bed bit, now seems like a new territory due to the new step they’re on. JJ attempts to avoid the appealing thought of him now being able to turn in bed to press his lips on Pope’s in a second-lived kiss or one which kindles fire deep in his stomach.

If Pope is fazed, he’s doing a good job of not showing it, there’s a little smile across his face. “I’d hide you under the bed if it were to come to that.”

“I can’t kiss you now, right?” He says in an answer, soft eyes latching on Pope’s lips.

Helplessly, Pope glances at where Sarah is laughing with the Carrera’s. JJ nods and sticks his tongue between his lips as he digs his hand deep in his pocket to pull out a coin, deliberately, he drops it to the floor then stares at Pope with a pout, “oops.” He’s so thankful that Kiara pulled the passenger seat forward because it left enough space for him to crouch between it and the backseats, “will you help me look please?” Pope is confused for a second before he’s shaking his head and bending down. In the outsider's view, Pope is trying to fetch something on the floor but what he’s doing is grabbing JJ's cheeks and begging, “please never change.” Before he’s kissing him on the mouth. JJ hands trails towards Pope, one rests on his knee and the other is on his heart, feeling it beating fast for him. Pope pulls back first, smiling and intertwining his fingers with JJ’s, the ones that are on his knee. “You think you found it?”

Slowly, he nods, eyes fixated on Pope’s. “I found him.”

Pope doesn’t give him time to overthink if he’s coming off strong, because his lips are on his again and when they pull back it’s only because the chatter outside is fluttering.

Their hands don’t let go though.

They sit in silence for a while, until Sarah cuts it gingerly, “I’m sorry about this afternoon, I shouldn’t have stayed. It’s just when I heard you walk in I didn’t really think it would turn to you two making out, and I felt awkward to just announce myself mid all of that. If I managed to get out of that without you two noticing, I wouldn’t have said anything to anyone, and I won’t say anything about it even now.”

“It’s okay,” Pope assures. 

“It’s whatever,” JJ adds.

It sticks a smile on her lips.

“You've always been close to Kiara’s dad?” Pope changes the subject.

“Oh yeah, he’s so cool, he used to take me and Kiara trick or treat and would come watch our plays at school. He’s like a father to me, which is nice to have that when your real father turns out to be a fucked up piece of trash.”

Pope awkwardly apologies to her and squeezes JJ’s hand, he also just realized the similarity between him and Sarah.

Sarah sends them a sweet grin from the rear view mirror, “he was the one to give me the period talk actually.”

They laugh, “why are you telling us this?”

“I don’t know, it just came to my mind,” she’s laughing too. “Kiara and I were having a sleepover at her house and her mom was out of town for the weekend, so the only adult was her dad. It happened at night, I went to pee and cried when I saw the blood, the last thing on my mind was it could be period until Kiara pointed it out, she told me we should tell her dad and thankfully it wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be, he just explained it and bought me pads and candy.”

At a red light, Sarah twists in her seat as she confesses something that JJ can tell she has been dying to tell just from the joy etching her face.

“You know, I actually thought you two were dating last summer.”

“What?” JJ snickers, intrigued eyes find Sarah’s, before getting a glimpse of Pope who’s looking at her with his eyebrows knitted together, probably analyzing all their past interactions.

“Yeah, every time I’ve seen you two, you were always attached to the hip even before we started to hang out and when I got to see you two interact up close, you were acting like you have been dating for so long. I only realized you two weren’t together the day you guys trapped me with Kiara on the boat. When John B drove me to meet you, I was talking shit and then I said something about how Kiara probably hates me much more because she’ll be fifth wheeling from now on and then John B got confused and when I explained what I meant he started to laugh.”

Is JJ over the moon after learning that him and Pope looked more like a couple than Pope and Kiara? Yes.

Does he show it? He wants to, already got comments lining up on his tongue, but Pope is tabbing his fingertips over the back of his hand, like he’s sending signals and JJ realizes that Pope doesn’t know that their best friend is okay with them together like the way he knows.

Sarah beats him to console, “Now he won't laugh though, remember the first time we went to the beach after John B and I got back.”

“Yeah,” Pope replies slowly, “like two months ago.”

“You two weren’t very subtle that day, especially you JJ, so he suspects there’s something going on.”

He doesn’t need her to elaborate which is embarrassing, but she does anyway, “There are many things to mention but the one that takes the cake is you placing seashells on Pope’s back. What an epic gesture of romance! Don’t want to get sand on them, my ass. Just say you want an excuse to touch him and go.”

A shit eating grin splits Pope’s face, and all JJ can think about, ‘yeah it’s worth the embarrassment.’

Yet his cheeks still turn red.

It was two days after the night he walked out of the chateau and he recalls every detail: 

Pope arms around him as they rode his bike to the beach. Everyone arguing over who was the one supposed to bring a blanket for them to lounge on. Him passing his sweatshirt to Pope to use as a small makeshift blanket. Pope smiling then putting it aside next to the book he brought with him for ‘just in case.’ before running to the water and calling for JJ to follow. John B being the only one that brought his surfboard though the waves were too calm to surf, so he just used it as a seat. Pope and him diving underneath the surfboard to knock him off in the water, before climbing on it, facing each other. JJ’s hand on top of Pope’s as he balanced himself and Pope not removing it so JJ kept it and acted like he didn’t notice. The sight of Pope that took his breath away, beam so wide in a way that showed the crinkles by his eyes, his skin golden with droplets of water across it that dared JJ to wipe them away and before JJ could lean forward, do the thing he was anticipating to do since 15, John B dragged them by their dangling feet under the water. Kiara and Sarah joining in and not wasting a second to team up with John B against him and Pope. Pope announcing he wants a break, JJ was glad that Kiara pouted because it kind of justified that he also had one of his own, then Sarah running after Pope and gripping into his arm as they walked back to the shore. Him trailing towards them not so long after to see Pope with a book in hand, sprawled on his stomach with the sweatshirt he gave him beneath it to protect it from the heated sand. Sarah was in the same position too with John B’s shirt underneath it. They were reading together and JJ for a moment thought about not disturbing them. But Pope lifted his gaze towards him and was smiling.

“Aren’t you gonna join?” He asked, when he was in front of them.

Sarah shook her head, “too tired.”

“Not valid,” JJ shook his head. “Pope?”

“I was just in.” Pope squinted at him and JJ’s feet moved on their own accord to block the sun from hitting Pope's face.

“That was like 10 minutes ago.”

“Already missing me?”

“So bad,” he said playfully, lowering himself on the other side of Pope.

JJ alarmed the two when he abruptly leapt up on his feet not a minute later. He didn’t care, fully aware that he did them a service, they would be more horrified if he did what crossed his mind; writing his name on Pope’s glorious back.

He decided to collect seashells, snatching a used paper cup with him. Pope sent smiles in his way, every time he celebrated finding a cool shell. It took him 10 minutes to be almost satisfied with his collection. When he sat back, legs crossed, “how many?” Pope asked.

“30,” JJ answered and took Pope by surprise when he placed one shell across the center of his back, making him glance at him, asking him what he’s doing. JJ simply shrugged, “I want to lay them down altogether to know which ones to leave and I’m not gonna put them on the sand, I just washed them.” JJ knew that there’s other ways, but he realized that was more about connecting with Pope than keeping the shells clean. Pope let him do whatever he wanted because he can’t say no to him and since JJ doesn’t really like the silence he showed off each shell to the two, bullshitting facts for them to laugh.

“Do you think your mom will love this one?” He presented Pope a blue spiral shell. “It’s cool, but crooked.”

“My mom?” Pope turned his head to face him, and JJ hurriedly placed his hand on the small of his back to keep him still so he didn't knock off the line of shells.

“Duh, they’re for her. Since when do I collect anything?” He said in a casual manner, like it’s not something so thoughtful to remember the subtle shell decoration scattered around the house.

Awe roamed Pope’s face as he assured, “Yeah, yeah I’m sure she will love it.” JJ’s cheeks warmed and remained in the same state as he pursued placing them, even when John B and Kiara joined. He caught Kiara’s knowing look in his and Pope’s direction. “These are nice,” she commented as she squeezed herself between Pope and Sarah.

“You can’t take any, they’re for Pope’s mom and Pope’s mom only,” Sarah teased, sinking against her boyfriend's chest.

“Are you trying to make a move on Mama Heyward,” John B whistled. JJ responded with his middle finger and Pope made a disgusted face. “Well, then is it on her son, your golden boy?”

JJ knew they could play it off as meaningless teasing even if it’s not, John B knows there’s so much truth in his words even if JJ didn’t fully admit it, he saw the look on his face and watched him take the road to Pope that night.

He glared at John B to distract himself from the awful feeling that piled in his guts.

Pope came in clutch, braver than JJ could ever be, “Not gonna lie, I feel very objectified with all of you staring at my back and literally talking behind it.” They all laughed and that’s when JJ felt like he could breathe again.

The traffic light turns green, as if it’s a sign or something, so he props his elbow on the door’s armrest, with his index he rubs under his nose and eyes Pope, “Sarah got a bit of it right. I was crushing on you since then,” he smiles and watches the surprise develop on Pope’s face.

“Since last summer?”

“14,” JJ corrects, his heart swelling over the fact he can say it now, he literally can tell Pope everything, what his stupid chapstick started, what his smart mouth does to him, what the conversation he overheard that included his name and the word adoption did to his heart, and just loads of other things that he kept beneath.

 _I want to tell you things if you tell me._ He remembers.

His heart could burst, knowing Pope got secrets to tell too. He knows they won't be revealed until it’s just the two of them and JJ is okay with that.

“That’s so long ago, how didn’t I notice?” He looks dejected, gaze on their hands.

“You were kind of in love with Kie,” he reminds. A momentary grief takes him over to a time where he wished Pope was similar to John B in just one aspect, when John B loved, it’s selfish, he lets you know what he’s prioritizing in the moment. For Pope it wasn't a chain of Kiara this and Kiara that. Pope had him so loved in between in a way that lit a speck of hope, letting him think that he’ll be kissed by him one day.

But then Pope was concealing his tears next to him in the backseat and all JJ wanted was to reach out and tell him, _‘you have me.’_

Then, _‘you still have me.’_ was playing on repeat as his heart shattered into million pieces watching the boy with curfews and tender for touch kiss someone else.

That night, the ‘I kissed Kiara a few hours ago.’ Pope held his hand in the backseat as his parents took them back home. Like he’s returning the, _‘you have me.’_ promise.

The ‘I kissed Kiara a few hours ago.’ Pope kissed him on the forehead the same night after he woke up with John B’s name out of his mouth in a sad heartbreaking whisper. Pope held him tight, surely returning the, _‘you still have me.’_

Ruefully, JJ wondered once too many times if he had the power to break Pope’s heart, like would Pope’s heart bleed at the sight of him with someone else, because his did for Pope. Would he shed a tear if he rejected him, because he would if Pope did. He watched him from where he was curled in bed, get ready to go on his first date. Pope rambled in stress and JJ felt like crying wished he was the one Pope was trying to impress. Pope sighed a bunch of self deprecating comments and doubts about the date. The messed up him, wanted to agree, ' _yes cancel it, come nap with me.'_ But what he did was leave the bed, take the phone from Pope, throw it on the bed, then hold Pope’s face in both of his hands and spill words of comfort that get Pope eased, muttering, “sorry, you’re right.”

JJ won't lie when he says, he hoped they were directed to the false hope he gave. Even when he knew Pope didn’t owe him shit.

And now Pope does that, of course he does, “I’m sorry, I wish I had known.”

JJ squeezes his hand and shows his silent growth, “there’s nothing to be sorry about.” He scoots closer, slides off the seat enough so he can place his head comfortably on Pope’s chest, his legs resting on the console.

“Also there’s no way you would have known, I’m _so_ subtle and smooth and cool,” he yawns at last.

“And sleepy,” Pope murmurs, dropping his smile against JJ’s crown then wrapping an arm around him to snuggle him in and JJ just hums in return.

“I’m gonna indulge you with my humble opinion.” Sarah middles and elbows JJ’s leg, “you aren’t subtle at all, and Pope-” She searches for Pope’s gaze from the rear-view mirror- “you’re just so oblivious, which weirds me out since you’re too smart and sharp for your own good.”

“I’m gonna just focus on the compliment here.”

“Lucky you, I don’t have anything.”

Sarah laughs, “Why don’t Pope kiss you, make you feel better?”

JJ lightens up, staring up at Pope, “You do like making me feel better.”

Pope’s eyes flicker to his lips and JJ can already feel his kiss.

“Ugh, you’re so sappy, I need to throw up.”

“You literally have a matching heart necklace with your boyfriend,” Pope remarks.

“Haha, at least I’m relishing it.”

“Who said I’m not.” JJ tilts his head to connect his eyes with Pope’s once more, and mumbles, “Come here babe,” as his fingers leave Pope’s to tug him by the neck down towards his smirk. The kiss is reserved for when they aren’t alone, it’s short and sweet and it still gets Sarah to ask them to keep it down.

Few lighthearted remarks later, silence falls upon them, placid which has him almost drifting to sleep. It doesn’t last long though, due to Sarah stopping the car abruptly in the middle of a vacant road and wordlessly rushes out of it.

“The fuck?” He utters, reluctantly pulling away from Pope to get a better look.

They quirk their eyebrows at each other, watching her from the windshield disappear in and out of the view.

“We should probably check on her,” Pope says.

Before they do anything, Sarah walks towards them, opening the backseat door and casually placing on Pope’s lap-

“A duck.” Pope exclaims.

She beams, shutting the door and going back to the driver seat.

While JJ’s attention is fixated on the duck, Pope is questionably staring at Sarah from the rear-view mirror.

“What? I can’t leave Darcy alone in the middle of the road.”

“Darcy? You already named her.”

“Hi Darcy.” JJ sweet talks, leaning down towards her, close enough where she’s able to knock her nose with his.

JJ giggles and looks up at Pope with a big smile.

(If JJ can read minds, he would know that Pope almost drops logic and starts mentally preparing a presentation that would convince his parents that they should adopt a duck. The major convincing point would be an audio of JJ’s giggle and picture of his smile.)

“You know we can’t keep her, she probably strayed away from her mom,” Pope tells him, stroking the duck’s feathers. “If we look, we’ll probably be able to find her.”

“Is it bad that I hope we don’t? We can take her to John B’s, she would love it there!” Sarah plans, putting on the seat belt.

JJ might start to believe in karma, since as soon as Sarah is wishing Darcy to stay motherless, the engine is stuttering and stalling.

Pope voices JJ’s thoughts, “Where's Kie to say Karma.”

It gets him a glare from Sarah.

“You’re a grace,” Pope teases.

JJ joins in, “totally, it’s not like earlier today you lowkey spied on us and now trying to kidnap a baby duck.”

“You two aren’t funny.”

“Try to be more believable and not smile when you say it next time.”

She flips them off. “Should I call John B or Kiara to come pick us up?”

“Nah, home is like 10 minutes walk away. I can give you a ride,” Pope decides.

“I don’t think you can,” JJ interjects. “Last night your dad mentioned taking the car to the mechanic, so it might be still there.”

“Oh, right.”

“We do have the bike.”

“No offence, JJ, but the last thing Darcy and I would ever do is ride on a bike with you. I’ll just call John B.”

“You don’t have to, it’s late, you can spend the night with us, if you’re comfortable with that, of course,” Pope welcomes.

“Of course I’m.”

“Cool. C’mon then, just text home and tell them where you are or lie about it, I don’t know,” JJ backs Pope up and gathers the duck in his hands, before he’s out of the car.

“JJ don’t get too attached, if we don’t find her family, I’m gonna be her mom,” Sarah declares.

“I’m gonna be her cool uncle.”

That doesn’t happen. They end up finding a paddling of ducks 2 minutes into their walk home. Stubbornly, Sarah lets her go.

* * *

The living room lights are on, so they opt to sneak Sarah through the bedroom window. She isn’t ecstatic about it, but JJ gives her the rundown on how to climb it from his years of experience.

“Wait till we open the window, then start to climb,” JJ instructs as Pope pulls him towards the front door.

Inside, it’s just Mrs. Heyward on the sofa, reading a book Pope gifted her for last year’s Christmas. At the sight of them, she puts it down, her reading glasses right on top of it then approaches to wrap each one in a quick hug. When she asks about their day, ambling around to turn off the lights, JJ knows that it could take long, so he fills her in on Pope hurting his foot, she fusses and demands her son to sit down. JJ from behind her back mouths a sorry in Pope’s direction, before he runs to their room and opens the window with another apology to Sarah. She starts to climb, hissing creative curses along the way and when she’s near, he offers his hand to pull her in.

Once her feet are on a steady ground, she’s dusting off her shorts, then lifting her gaze to study her surroundings.

“It’s very you and Pope,” she observes, tabbing the stack of books on the desk, then grabbing his hacky sack on top of them.

He leans into the dresser and crosses his arms, the ghost of a smile on his lips, “Yeah, it was bound to happen, me leaving my mark everywhere.” 

It took time to get there, going from walking on eggshells, preventing himself from making this new unfamiliar environment home, because the word home with everything it meant was reserved for Pope—

Comfortable, he felt to scatter his fingertips across Pope’s skin. He wished he could say the same to spreading his stuff around Pope’s room. The fault of an inkling that hissed, ‘why bother, you’ll be packing it all up soon anyways.’

The memory of his father only crept in once when he was with Pope for a brief second at midsummers, unlike the many times where he caught himself on the edge of a panic attack because of a trigger at the Heyward’s household. His worst one was the second week of his stay when a plate slipped off his grip. On instinct, he knelt and startled to collect the broken shreds and flinched away from Mrs. Heyward after she reached out, pressing a hand on his back while the other gripped into his wrist, it took him a minute to navigate that she only did so he didn't hurt himself. They silently cleaned it together and then he hid in Pope’s room under the covers in guilt and only felt slightly better when Pope came back from helping Kiara at the wreck and laid down next to him, asking if he wanted to be held. _‘Forever by you,’_ JJ almost said. He just nodded, then felt Pope’s shift closer, mumbling a soft, “left your head a bit.” JJ did so and Pope spread his arm underneath it. When JJ plopped his head down onto Pope’s arm, Pope rested his cheek against his shoulder blade, his other arm went around his waist and his thumb drew soothing circles on his belly, like he’s coaxing the bad out.

Talking with Pope is so easy, easy in a way you know there’s no real judgment, but it’s different with Heyward. They never had a real conversation before, from his perspective it was always quick and light centered around him making a rebel out of his son, but JJ knew in Heyward’s there was discernment, he heard enough of ‘you need better friends.’ to prove it.

—to _this_.

To him adding messy into Pope’s room description, his stuff blending with Pope’s, his pj’s on the bed from the morning’s rush, his red cap on the dresser’s handle, his backpack on the floor next to the door, his lighter on the nightstand along with a few of his rings and right into its drawer his vape is hidden.

To the contentment—that buries the seed of fear and holding back his father planted— As he helps in the kitchen, since forever he’s not obligated to cook, he’s just doing it because he wants to and Pope’s mom is so fascinating with her wisdom and stories.

To the words of affirmation from Heyward as he pats him on the back. To the conversations that start in the car that keeps going even when JJ is smiling next to the older man as he unlocks the front door.

To him and Mrs. Heyward putting away the grocery and Pope walking in the kitchen with a dumbstruck look dancing his face, saying he heard his dad whistle from the bathroom. “He never whistles,” Pope whispered to him. “He must be really happy. The last time I heard him whistle was way before Pope was born,” Mrs. Heyward said. “Thanks mama.” Pope replied sarcastically at the implication, leaning to drop a kiss on her temple. JJ beamed, because shit… He’s calling this home.

“We have a lot in common don’t we?” Sarah comments softly.

JJ nods. “The messed up parents part.”

“And the sweet boyfriends that took us in with everything they have and gave us home part too.”

It took him a second to get what she means by everything John B has. It’s them, she’s talking about him, Pope and Kiara.

“Yeah, that too.” He smiles to the ground.

“Where’s Pope anyways?” Sarah tosses the hacky sack at him.

“I may have thrown him under the bus and told his mom that he hurt his foot.”

“You really snitched on him just like that, huh?” She takes a seat on the bed.

“If I didn’t then you would still be stuck outside.” He throws the ball back at her. “Also Pope appreciates good causes.”

“Doesn’t make you less of a snitch, honey.”

Before he can bite back, Pope’s parents bedroom door clicks shut and JJ takes it as his cue to head to the door, “I’ll be back in a second.”

“Don’t get too carried away,” she teases, launching the ball at him.

He turns around to flip her off. Points at the dresser as he backs away to the door. “Pick whatever you want.”

* * *

At the bottom of the stairs, the lights are off and a smile of endearment crosses his face at the measures the other is taking. He can still see the outline of Pope's silhouette, except his head, it’s behind a cabinet door.

JJ steps forward, close enough where Pope can hear him if he talks in a hushed voice. “You’re being extremely careful now. Your parents know we usually come in here in the middle of the night.”

“Shit, JJ.” Pope jumps. “You scared the fuck out of me.”

“Sorry,” he’s snickering, voice picking up, “you would be less jumpy if you turned the lights on.”

“Shhhhhhhh.”

“Okay, Okay, I can be stealth.” JJ treads closer and shuts the cabinet after Pope pulls out a plate and places it on the counter.

“Yeah, right. We’ve been through many situations where you were everything but stealth. I ain't forgetting about that time you tried to sneak into my room and ended up in my parents’ room instead.”

“It was my first time doing it and it was dark,” JJ defends. “I still can play stealth if I wanted.”

“You mean you went into my parents’ room on purpose? Maybe John B was right.”

“That’s an extremely bold accusation.”

“It better not be true, I’m not willing to be in a love triangle with my mom.”

JJ’s heart races at the word love.

“Naah it’s your dad, don’t you see the way he looks at me?”

“Is that why you want to jump in his arms?”

“You got me there not gonna lie.”

Pope shoves his shoulder lightly and turns towards the fridge, JJ follows, and squints at the light when Pope opens the fridge. He folds his arms on the door, resting his chin on top and watches Pope on his knees rummaging through the bottom drawer.

“What are you looking for?” 

“Anything healthy to snack on since that is what Sarah prefers. She’s up in the room right?”

“Safe and sound. Anyways we have hummus, you can’t go wrong with it.”

“Big brained you are,” Pope coos, pointing a finger at him.

“Only works for you,” JJ plays along and taps his temple. “You gonna shit your pants when I tell you we can dip carrots in it.” 

“No way!” Pope gasps.

“Don’t tell anyone, but cucumbers too.” JJ whispers, eyes twinkling.

“Too many secrets revealed in one day, can’t keep up,” he grins as he pulls out a carrots bag and passes it to JJ.

JJ grabs it, trails to get the peeler out of the cutlery drawer then the plate Pope got out a minute ago and heads to the sink to start peeling.

It’s domestic, laughing as they move around the kitchen, a step in the pattern of a day ago, a week ago, a month ago and a year ago. Which clouds the development of today and creates an awful stirring deep in his gut that impels him to ask, so tentative, “tomorrow we won't pretend that today never happened right?”

Just like that the kitchen is dark again, until Pope is by the switch turning the lights on, indicating the seriousness of the moment. Then he’s right there in his space, placing the packaged hummus on the counter before angling his body towards him, his eyes seeking.

“Where is this coming from?”

JJ opens the faucet to wash the now peeled carrot, before dropping it on the plate between them.

“I don’t know.” He frowns at the orange tint it left on the inside of his hand, he still reaches for another, but Pope is stopping him by uttering his name so kindly and his hand is covering his, with thumb caressing the spot, like he’s wiping it clean, the same thing he did for his soul throughout last year. “It’s just,” he takes a breath, “we’re good at ignoring every time we move forward with what’s going on between us.”

“There would be a lot to ignore this time and we probably would need to brainwash Sarah.”

He can’t help it but smile, he lets their eyes meet with so much determination in his. “Yeah and I don’t think I can do it.”

“Good then, because you won't. Sarah got it right.” Pope’s hand travels to JJ’s forearm, rubbing up and down like he’s warming him. “I was oblivious, but trust me if I was sure that you felt the same, I’d have listened to my mom and done something about it much sooner.”

JJ crosses his eyebrows. “Your mom?” 

He sees the hesitation in Pope’s eyes, a hint that he didn’t mean to slip that information out. “Yeah, well. I kind of told her how I feel about you.”

“You talk to your mom about me?”

“Yes. I shouldn’t expect you to let it go right.”

JJ beams and nods, “What did you tell her?”

“You really want to know _now_?” He gestures to the stairs.

“Sarah got a bed and things to keep her company and we also have carrots to peel, so...”

Pope pats his back, “Okay, chef.” before heading towards the cutlery drawer to retrieve a spoon out of it. When he’s back next to JJ— who’s back to peeling carrots— he opens the lid and starts to scoop hummus in the corner of the plate, “Remember last month when you got me to watch C.H.U.D.?”

He nods, remembering the coziness of the memory, lying in bed within the darkness of the room, only light coming was from the laptop on Pope’s stomach. Him curling into Pope's side, head right on his shoulder. Every time Pope got a question he would gently knock their heads together and it would make JJ smile. He would rewind his favorite scenes, Pope let him have it, once, twice, thrice, fourth, but then at the fifth time, as JJ brought his fingers to the touch pad, Pope wrapped his around them. JJ pressed his smile on Pope’s arm and couldn’t get himself to focus on the screen, because Pope was playing with his fingers and with the tips of his he would caress his nails, the ones that hurt as expected since he can’t get himself to break the habit of biting them, always bit too far where it harms the sensitive skin. At some point, Pope turned his head with a comment on his tongue for it to be lost when he found him already gazing, their eyes latched on each other, until his name escaped Pope’s lips, like it was a messenger with a letter that pleaded him to visit where he came from, JJ’s eyes dropped there, to the other’s lips. A loud sound effect from the movie butchered the moment and created an almost. The rest of the watch was uncomfortably silent, JJ’s head back on the pillow, Pope didn’t knock their heads at all, JJ fingers felt lonely while Pope’s fidgeted with the string of his purple hoodie.

He glances now at Pope, his expression unreadable as he carries on, “I thought you were about to kiss me.”

JJ feels his throat tighten at the fragility in Pope’s tone.

_That’s when he hurt him._

He wants to remind him of his confession in the car, that he had him completely at 14, that he wanted to kiss him since then, but Pope speaks first, setting the spoon in the sink then closing off the hummus’ lid. “I felt delusional thinking that. I’ve seen you kiss others and you always went for it and I-”

“And I’ve never kissed a best friend before.” JJ stops him and keeps his eyes pinned on the peeler in hand though everything is fucking blurry. “You aren’t delusional, I just had so much to lose.”

Pope pulls him into his arms with a breath of “You’ll never lose me.” JJ immediately tucks his face into the croak of his neck and response to Pope caresses on his back and hair, by dropping the peeler on the floor to tug him closer and safer and pressing a kiss across the juncture between his shoulder and neck. It’s inconvenient, they’re embracing like how lovers do right in his boyfriend’s parents' kitchen, and one of the corners of the hummus’ packaging in Pope’s hand is poking into his spine, but JJ isn’t concerned one bit because they _are_ lovers, and this is the kitchen where he’s familiar with what each cabinet hides, knows how Pope’s dad prefers his coffee and knows that even though he been living with the Heywards for over a year, Pope’s mom face still glows at the sight of him finishing up his plate. The slight ache across his back, it means that Pope didn’t want to waste a millisecond (by releasing what’s in his hand) to have him in his arms.

Pope is pinning kisses on his neck, jaw, cheek on his way to kiss him on the lips and JJ is waiting for Pope to catch a breath to tell him that he’s in love with him.

* * *

Pope’s room is cramped in a way that it makes playing the ground is lava easy, although the window right over the desk helps open it up a little, along with the bigger one– that 15 years old Pope locked for good after one encounter where JJ climbed in through it in the middle of the night and crushed him, ‘sorry’ escaped JJ’s lips with giggles as he shifted to lay besides the other– above the twin sized bed that Pope slept in since he was 11. The bed is squashed between two nightstand, one has more of JJ’s belongings than Pope’s. Across the bed is the dresser, one that the neighbors gave the Heywards two years ago before they moved out. It's carved at the side from the many times JJ sprung the door open, forgetting that the two edges would collide from the lack of space.

Underneath the bed, there’s an air mattress that Pope drags out for him and JJ to use, while Sarah occupies the bed. JJ leans his back against the wall with his legs spread out in front of him and half outside the mattress. He gestures for Pope to come near after he turns the light off. In the dark their fingers link and JJ guides Pope down to him. Pope rests his head across JJ’s lap, cheek against thigh and holds his hand again. Subtly, JJ with his free hand kneads Pope’s back in a half assed attempt of massage, the action clings a smile on Pope’s face.

Sarah hates silence probably more than JJ does. Every time they slump into one that resembles comfortable. She picks up new topics to talk about. Maybe to her it’s awkward, after all it’s the first time it’s just the three of them hanging out all alone, her boyfriend and closest best friend are sleeping in the familiarity of their homes.

Her questions vary in levels, from “what is your favorite color?” to “when did you become friends?” Regardless, each one meets it’s answer. JJ never had a favorite, but if he had to choose he would pick yellow, for Pope it’s either green or red.

Pope recites their history with a beam weaving his words in gold, like the one yanking on the corners of JJ’s lips. Fourth grade, Pope tearing up with a B minus marked test clutched in hand. A second later, a hand with a bandage around knuckles was slammed on his table, and beneath it he could spot a raging F, Pope almost spiraled into a panic attack thinking it’s his, but then his eyes scanned the corner to see it’s not his name. In the messiest writing he has ever seen, JJ Maybank was written. He looked up to see his confident smile, “you’re still the smartest kid in school.”

“I’m sorry, but showing an F to someone that always gets A’s isn’t very comforting JJ,” Sarah laughs, slipping out from under the sheets to sit on the ground in front of them, her back against the bed and her legs tucked to her chest.

Pope agrees and JJ feigns outrage, “Hey, I still made you laugh.”

“True, you did.”

“What about John B, how did he react?” Sarah chimes in.

“Better than I could have ever imagined, JJ dragged me to his table and didn’t even need to do the whole introducing thing, they just carried the conversation they were having and included me in it. Also before that John B also showed me his F.” 

Sarah giggles, fondness tattoos itself on her features, stumbling upon a new reason to love her boyfriend. JJ would make a snide comment about it, but he isn’t doing much better.

They jam another hour with questions. He listens to Sarah talking about her plans post senior year after Pope asks her and there’s something endearing and bizarre at the sight of her in Pope’s clothes, and the way her face is bright as she responds to him, like her adoring Pope is another reason on the list of why JJ Maybank should be fond of Sarah Cameron. He really is, he mourned for her and missed her when she was gone though he only knew her for a few moments in a few days. Maybe his heart foreseen that she was going to be a constant in his life or maybe it's just human nature to empathize with people. Some people kill that nature, that for sure JJ knows, he has physical scars and emotional wounds that are gonna last him for the rest of his life as a proof.

Sarah wants to go to college, but hasn’t figured out what to major in yet. Pope tells her that he can try to help her with that and the gratitude is so visible in her eyes. She then trails about wanting to travel the world, be successful at a job, get a cat, get married and maybe have kids.

She directs the question right back at them and for the first time JJ has an answer. “For a start, Pope is going to get his scholarship, and-”

“We aren’t sure yet,” Pope cuts JJ off.

“ _You_ aren’t sure, but I’m.” JJ pats his cheek. “Trust me.”

Pope leans into his touch, like he believes him. “And JJ of course will come with me.” 

JJ rolls his eyes, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, you know I won't till we can comfortably rent an apartment. Until then I'll be here, working till we can make that happen.”

“And we’ll get a dog.”

“Hell yes!”

“Did you plan all of this today?” Sarah interrupts, stunned.

“No, last November.”

How could he forget, it was the night where for the first time since John B’s and Sarah’s disappearance, he wasn’t linking night visits to the beach to a taunting memory. JJ was perching on the edge of their bed and Pope was pacing back and forth in front of him, claiming himself as a doomed failure and that he was gonna ruin his second chance at getting the scholarship. He kept calm, allowed Pope to spill out all his fears, before he got up to the dresser and pulled out two sweatshirts, one for him and one he threw at Pope. As Pope pulled the sweatshirt over his head, JJ wrote a quick note that would sooth Pope’s parents if they woke up to find them gone. He tucked a pen in his pocket then a folded paper before he dragged Pope by the hand towards the window, Pope didn’t say anything just went along and climbed out right after JJ. They trailed towards the bike and Pope was so desperate for a breath of relief to the point where he sat down first. JJ drove them to the beach. Pope took his shoes off fast and didn’t even bother to roll up his PJ’s bottoms before he started to move towards the water. It’s freezing, but JJ followed his lead. They didn’t say anything for a while, just let the waves crashing into the shore fill the silence. “What if I don’t get it?” Pope said in a small voice.

JJ pressed his lips together and offered his hand, Pope took it and let JJ walk them back to the dry land. They sat down and didn’t care if their feet were muddy. JJ pulled out the items in his pocket. Started to fill the paper with everything Pope said back in the warmth of their room, next to it he wrote how they can deal with each worry. When he was done, he passed it to the other and Pope with his careful eyes scanned it. JJ watched the creases on his face smoothen, watched his shoulder slake and finally watched him sink back onto the sand. “I love your visions,” Pope whispered, and JJ gazed at the stars and prayed they would make the best of them come true.

“But where are you in them?” Pope added.

“Wherever you want me to be,” JJ smiled at him.

Pope's eyes twinkled as he reached for the fabric of JJ’s sweatshirt to tug him down, like he’s saying, _‘next to me.’_

“Please tell me that you didn’t realize the other liked you back today, oh my God you can’t be this oblivious. You already have your future planned together!” 

“Best friends do that sometimes, you know?” Pope tells her.

“Yes I know, but be honest, did you ever talk about what you would do when the other gets a partner or invites someone to get laid?” 

He watches the smugness on Sarah’s face, as realization crawls with goosebumps type of sensation. It hits him just now that every time they talked about the future, the subject of lovers never was brought up. He thinks his mind unconsciously thought of Pope as that. It was all about college, work, pets and the spare room they need to have for when their friends crash at their apartment.

Pope perks up, sitting and wide eyes latching on JJ who’s chuckling.

“Idiots,” Sarah begins and JJ is thankful for what she says next, “I’m gonna cover my eyes and count to th-” He doesn’t let her finish, already smashing his lips over Pope’s who immediately takes hold of his cheeks, grinning.

14 questions later, Sarah is proving that JJ got it wrong, it’s not awkwardness. Staring at the ceiling, she admits to wanting just the three of them to hang out more to know them like the back of her hand, the same way she got John B and Kiara memorized.

“Only if you’re okay with third wheeling.” JJ jokes, knocking his feet against her hip.

“Which also _means_ , we would love to.” Pope grants her a smile.

* * *

It’s one after midnight, when Sarah gets back to bed announcing they should probably sleep. Pope beat them to it at least thirty minutes ago, right on his lap with his nose nuzzling his stomach and an arm loosely around his middle.

Normally they would sleep with little physical contact, except the nights where one of them is sad or anxious, there are no lines to draw when it comes to that, bold touches are welcomed and desired, but usually it’s the mornings when they find one of them is spooning the other and their limbs are intertwined.

Now, JJ tenderly wakes Pope. Stares at him entertained as he with his eyes still closed adjusts on the mattress and lays his head on the pillow. When JJ follows suit, lying in front of the other and pulling the blanket over them, Pope wraps his arm around his waist, tugging him near and JJ feels so content as his hand glides from Pope’s forearm to the back of his hand to lace their fingers below the blanket.

One hour later or maybe just five minutes, he really lost track of time, counting the rise and fall of Pope’s chest against his back as he awaits for sleep to take him.

Pope eyelids flutter open in the process of JJ steering in his arms to change sides, “Sorry, go back to sleep.” He kisses his nose, because he can now.

“Anything keeping you up?” Pope smiles and meekly asks as his hand comes to sweep blonde hair away from his blue eyes. Instinctively JJ’s fingers wrap around the other’s wrist.

“No,” he pouts. “Just can’t sleep.” 

Pope brushes his lips against his and it lingers like the blush that dots high on JJ’s cheeks. “Give it another 5 minutes, if not then we can climb to the roof and sit there till I’ve to carry you in.”

Smirking, JJ drops the hand that’s holding Pope’s wrist to slip his arm around the other’s waist, tucking his face in the expanse between Pope’s neck and the pillow they’re sharing. “You know now I won't sleep on purpose.” 

Pope chuckles, “Is that a challenge now?”

“Could be.”

“What will I get if I win?”

“Sleep.”

“Challenge accepted,” Pope laughs, reminding JJ that it’s the best sound he ever heard.

Perhaps Pope is doing it intentionally or maybe not, nonetheless his fingertips paralleling his spine back and forth lull him to sleep.

* * *

The next time his eyes are open and his mind is aware, Pope’s fingers are caressing his scalp, and from behind him he can hear his quiet murmurs mix with Sarah’s. He shifts on his back, forearm shielding his eyes from the golden streaks seeping through the curtains.

“Morning, sleepy head,” JJ can hear the smile in Pope’s voice, so he gives him a visible one.

“You won,” JJ says, groggily, pulling his arm off his face to appreciate what’s next to him, and Pope is right there, head propped on one elbow and he’s gazing down at him.

“Yeah, I did.”

Every version of Pope has it right to be admired, but the morning one might be his favorite to soak in, maybe the credit goes to the intimacy of them being each other’s first thing to see in the morning or it’s the way that the innocence JJ notices in every person he watched sleep, lingers on Pope’s face even after he’s awake. 

A brilliant idea sneaks in between his thoughts reminding him that he never kissed the morning version of Pope, so he raises himself by the elbow to plant their lips together, and when it ends in seconds, Pope has a shy startled look etched on his face that’s begging him to be kissed again, but the bed creaks louder than usual after Sarah leaves it as if she’s announcing that they aren’t alone.

“What time is it?” He asks.

“Almost 6,” Sarah answers, peeking through the window, “John B on his way.”

“Yeah, well, it’s too early for me,” he mumbles, rolling on the side Pope slept on to steal it’s warmth, one of his legs across Pope’s lap.

He doesn’t really go back to sleep. They end up sneaking up to the roof where Sarah starts a game of ‘I spy’

JJ has fun pretending to not see the correct guesses, he would protest every other round, because it gets him Pope leaning his head closer, pointing at the object JJ “isn’t” seeing and sometimes he would use his hand for that.

They play it until the HMS Pogue is in sight and Sarah’s phone is ringing.

It’s just him and Pope now. They remain watching the Twinkie until it’s out of sight. He glances at Pope’s side profile, he’s squinting due to them standing in the sunlight’s way. JJ almost with his hands turns Pope’s face towards him, _‘look at me instead.’_ JJ knows himself well enough to know if he did that, he’d bring their lips together. He can’t though, in the near distance, the neighbors are waking up, some lawning, some watering grass, and a kid asking a parent if they can help. A little hurt begins settling in and JJ refuses to let his father touch this moment. For the first time he’s thinking, _‘what’s past is past.’_

He steps back with a smile to where they were sitting and reclines on the hardwood roof.

In a blink, Pope is lying next to him.

Like that, they’re a secret. They can’t be seen and if they talk in hush, they can’t be heard.

Pope laces their fingers and squeezes three times.

“August,” Pope mutters, eyes on the sky.

“What about August, golden boy?” JJ beams, ready if Pope wants to start talking in riddles.

Pope connects their gazes, before he’s shuffling closer to brush their lips together. “That’s when I realized that I’m in love with you.”

**_And isn't it just so pretty to think_ **

**_All along there was some_ **

**_Invisible string_ **

**_Tying you to me?_ **

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for a very long while, and it's so nice to finally be able to share it with you guys. This started as a short headcanon but then I started to add more and more and then here we are. I really hope you enjoy it and if you did please make sure to leave feedback!!!!


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